Let's say you have never really dated, but you're in a situation where you will get your dream partner if you score a "relationship homerun", or feel like you’ll die inside if you dont. And you only have one try. You go on the date, grab the metaphorical bat, breathe, assume the position, the world throws that unique pitch at you, and you swing. What are your chances of hitting a homerun in love on the first shot?

See, sometimes it happens. Sometimes someone hits that lucky romantic homerun. And against all common sense they keep hitting one homerun after another in dating, without really knowing how they are doing it. We call these the naturals, the charismatic prodigies. Stories, movies, and social media fill us with these examples. It's a compelling story: some people just have it in love. They meet once, sparks fly, happily ever after. You start believing dating should work like that.

The win/lose, success or die, go big or go home, prodigy/miracle/ luck frame is not how you get relationships done. While some of these stories are true, most are fabrications and highlight reels. Media sells you the story to raise the perceived value of some system: apps, courses, rom-com fantasies. The moment you believe the story and buy into binary success/failure in dating, you become part of the crowd who only experiences romance by consuming others' love stories instead of living your own

Because the other side of the story whispers you cant. You cant walk into the "dating field" and make a homerun relationship. You cant win love. You're not as attractive, as lucky, or as much of a romantic prodigy. Stakes feel too high; you dont even try. You scroll, ship couples, binge love stories because you cant create your own. But the myth is the problem, not you. When you drop the one-swing fantasy, you can finally practice, learn, and build real relationships over many honest at-bats